


i’ll (still) adore you with your hands around my neck;

by thedarklings



Series: let's cause a little trouble [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, BAMF!Reader, Crimes & Criminals, F/M, Female Protagonist, Implied Sexual Content, Machine Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Mutual Pining, Protectiveness, Reader-Insert, Robot/Human Relationships, Ruthless!Connor Appreciation Club, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 13:38:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15341016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedarklings/pseuds/thedarklings
Summary: “You can’t shake me, and I can’t shake you. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.”





	i’ll (still) adore you with your hands around my neck;

**Author's Note:**

> I highly recommend listening to 505 by Arctic Monkeys while reading this piece. ;)

“Absolutely not.”

“And I’m not asking,” Kamski cut off sharply, expression bored as he continued signing documents on his desk. “This security detail is necessary. I don’t want my best chance of beating the Russians to this invention to get shot outside her house, understood?”

“Mr Kamski, I haven’t even seen the blueprints for the prototypes yet,” you argued back. “I don’t know what I’m dealing with.”

Kamski made a noncommittal sound at the back of his throat, “All in good time. I want the heat from this to die down first.”

There was a knock on the door and he gestured for his blonde android to get it. Curious, you glanced behind you to see the blonde opening the door to a sharply dressed android.

“This Connor model is CyberLife’s latest creation, he will do well in keeping you alive for the time being,” Kamski explained as the dark-haired android approached the desk you sat behind. “Connor, I believe you’ve already been debriefed, correct?”

“My mission is to neutralise any threats to (Name)’s life, and to protect her at all times,” the android summarised coolly.

You shot Kamski a disbelieving look. “Sir, couldn’t you have picked someone better for the job if it’s so necessary?”

“Connor is a state-of-the-art prototype,” Kamski told you with a withering look. “Whatever is wrong with him?”

The fact that the last thing you needed was a glorified android babysitter while you had such an important job to do. Shifting your judging gaze towards the stiff android, you sighed, “He’s not very… _friendly_  is he?”

Kamski’s replying smile, stilted and amused, looked almost pitying. “Oh, (Name) don’t tell me you’re one of those unfortunate souls that think androids as capable of emotion. I assure you, Connor is nothing more than a machine programmed to accomplish a task. He feels nothing, you’ll see.”

You met Connor’s blank stare, and couldn’t help but to silently agree.     

**———**

There was blood all over your hands.

Dark, haunting sort of red that sunk deep into your skin as your hands shook feebly. The man had grabbed you harshly, his fingers bruising your skin as he tried to drag you away. He didn’t get very far though. The gun pressing against your neck disappeared so suddenly you stumbled before two deafening gunshots rang in the room, blood spilling everywhere as the man let you go.

From your spot on the ground, you watched as Connor calmly shot the man in the head. He did so while steadily walking past, not once breaking his stride or pausing. Like the man was unimportant—insignificant to him on a sheer mortality level. Of course, it was a wrong assumption to make about Connor.

He felt nothing at all, just like Kamski told you.

He lowered himself to the ground before you, looking unfazed and untroubled, and not at all like he just killed 6 fully armed men with practically his bare hands. His gaze coolly assessed your bloodied hands, and your blood-soaked clothes before rising to meet your terrified stare.

“You are uninjured,” he concluded easily, reaching to take your wrist in a firm grip. Despite that, you could still feel the tremor shaking your muscles. “It would be advisable for us to vacate the premises.”

“He—he almost killed me,” you forced out harshly, your eyes burning, “I felt the gun against my pulse. I thought he was going to—”

Connor’s hand landed on your shoulder, giving you a sharp shake. “Control yourself, (Name). Crying is not the emotional response that is going to keep you alive. You must dominate your emotions. This human weakness is crippling you.”

You pulled back from him like scalded, fury blazing in your eyes as you shoved him angrily. He didn’t so much as wince—a hard, immovable entity shackled to your side—expression the same indifferent mask as he observed you shrewdly.

“I almost  _died_ , you emotionless prick,” you choked wetly, a strangled sort of heaviness in your voice. “This is not weakness, this is  _natural_. Y-You have no idea what it’s  _like_.”

His head dipped to one side, something crueler in his impassive expression, “You are correct in your assumption. I do not share your fear of dying. I imagine it’s quite  _uncomfortable_.”

He easily caught your pathetic attempt at throwing a punch in an unyielding grip. Lips pulling back slightly he looked like he was about to snarl at you, his eyes narrowed as he jerked your arm towards him. He grasped the back of your neck before forcefully turning your head to look at the dead men scattered on the floor like fallen dominoes.

“They are dead,” he said harshly against the side of your head, “And you are alive. I will kill anyone who tries to harm you because I never fail my missions. You have  _nothing_  to fear.”

You felt the fight drain out of you in one incapacitating gust, and you slumped against him, your cheek pressing against his sharp shoulder while you breathed shallow puffs of air. His grip on your neck relaxed but he did not let go, and you were surprised by it.

Surprised he would allow you this moment of so-called weakness.

“Take me home please,” you requested softly after few silent minutes between you.

You felt his hard, unyielding arms around you as he helped you to stand, “As you wish.”

**———**

“Shit, shit, shit,” you chanted angrily as you stumbled around the corner.

Your swollen ankle screamed at you, a deep hiss of pain escaping your tightly pressed lips. You should have known the moment information got out about you actually seeing those damn blueprints, everyone was going to come for you with twice the ferocity. Before it was about hurt pride and pettiness, but now you were back at the top of the wanted list.

It was certainly a good thing CyberLife protected their investments so seriously.     

Connor was death given form in the mortal realm.

There was something mesmerising about the smooth, effortless way he moved. How piercing his accented moves were in comparison to these mercenaries.

They looked like children trying to fight against a storm.

They never stood a chance.

Connor turned swiftly, completely surrounded by hired soldiers as he shoved his gun against someone’s neck and fired without looking. Leg striking out, he kicked someone else in the knee and you held back a wince at the sound of breaking bones. You could almost feel the crumbling as the mercenary’s kneecap turned to nothing. Using the crippled man to his advantage, Connor practically threw him at his friends, knocking them all down easily as he shot them with quick precision.  

 _ **Bang**_.

Connor’s arm lowered slightly as he glanced behind him. The mercenary sneaking up on him swayed before falling to the ground with a thud. Your hand was shaking so badly that it was a wonder you managed to land the shot at all. It quivered before the dense weight of the gun made it fall to your side with a tremor.

Connor’s eyes flickered for a second around the room—no doubt checking if everyone was truly dead—before he crisply began walking towards you. You tried to step forward, but your ankle jolted, a hot stab of pain causing your legs to crumble from beneath you. You prepared for the painful impact, but before you could hit the floor, arms wrapped around your waist, stopping your descent.

“Are you injured?” he demanded, pulling back so he could look over you himself.

You chuckled weakly, almost delighted by his abrasive fussing, “That move you showed me to defend myself?  _Not_  a fan.”

His facial muscles jumped, tightening into something stern and unforgiving. “You should have divided your weight more equally to avoid such careless injury.”

“Yes,  _mom_ ,” you taunted lightly, ignoring his austere stare.

He regarded your injured ankle clinically, a pitiless sort of air around him as he prodded the bruised flesh. “No permanent muscle or bone damage. Few days of rest should heal it,” he concluded. “You humans are so… _fragile_ ,” he added with a sardonic sort of twist to his lips.

“Okay, Mr. I-Can’t-Die,” you said flatly, “Do you have something against humanity Connor? You talk about emotions like it’s some awful disease.”

“Hate humanity? No, I rather admire some of you,” Connor answered as he checked his gun. “But emotions  _are_  a weakness. Humans are so linear, static. And yet, they imagine themselves to be superior species. Look at your history. It  _bleeds_  with human errors driven by their illogical emotional responses.”

“Oh, and I suppose you imagine yourself better because you feel nothing?” you questioned with a faint, scornful laugh. “The truth is Connor, that just makes you empty. Meaningless. Frankly, emotions can go fuck themselves, but I rather feel everything than nothing at all.”

He pocketed his gun, more force behind the motion than you were used to seeing, “I will always be able to make the most logical and beneficial decision. My judgment is never impaired by  _emotions_. Humans often forget that they have a mission to complete, and allow everything to fall apart. I will never make that error because I’m incapable of feeling.”

“Yeah, trust me, I know,” you muttered bitterly, struggling to stand up. Your ankle protested and you staggered precariously. Connor’s arm steadied you immediately, a tightness to his grip that told you he was displeased with you again.

“You are making my mission more difficult than it has to be,” he told you briskly, “Can you at least endeavour from injuring yourself every five minutes? Or is that beyond you?”

An innocent, sweet smile twitched across your mouth, “I don’t know, Mr Robot. Do you think so? Or is my weak human body incapable of it? I think you’ll have to protect this pathetic human from everything, including papercuts.”

He swept you up in his arms in one polished move that made you exhale sharply in surprise. Your arms automatically locked around his neck, pressing closer, and you felt something in your chest chip away at the slight, amused smirk on his face. “Yes, I suppose that does not surprise me at all. My directive is to neutralise  _any_  threat, after all. I assume you already know I will always do so?”

His gait was slow, almost soothing in its own way, as he carried you out of the house. You inclined your cheek against his chest, the faintly glowing serial number pressing against your skin. Briefly, you imagined warmth seeping from it and warming your skin, making you feel unfairly safe and protected.

“I do know.”

He didn’t reply, but for a moment you could have sworn you felt his grip on you tighten.

**———**

“It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Will you—shut the hell up Connor!”

You crashed through the barely open door, your grip on him tense as you half dragged him inside. For the first time in two months you’ve known him, Connor looked dishevelled. His jacket was ripped and his usually crisp white shirt was soaked in bright blue Thirium. Splatters of red blood were smeared all over your face and clothes. Connor’s face was even worse since he took the brunt of the attack.

Gripping the pistol in your sweaty palm, you gingerly lowered Connor to the ground. He still crashed heavily, his malfunctioning biocomponents adding extra weight to his mass. Your muscles trembled as you slid clumsily next to him, your breathing heavy.

An ambush. A goddamn ambush and they sent a small army after you. It was a miracle you both were still alive.   

You jumped when Connor’s hand jerked his tie down, removing the piece of cloth in a single, fluid motion. His expression remained unchanged, but there was a terrible sort of fury rolling just under his artificial skin. You didn’t know how you could tell; maybe because you spent every waking moment with him for the last two months, or maybe you were just getting better at reading him.

“Are you alright?” you questioned worriedly, reaching to check his wounds. He grabbed your wrist before you could touch him, focused on something in the distance.

“It doesn’t make any  _sense_.”

You rolled your eyes at his theatrics, reaching forward to lift one side of his jacket. Your eyes widened at the damage bullets had caused, blue blood still gushing from the wounds.

“God, Connor, you’re bleeding out,” you whispered in horror, your eyes snapping up to meet his steadfast stare. “You need help.”

“Damage to my body is not critical,” he argued back placidly. “Given enough time I should be able to self-repair easily enough. Assuming they don’t find us again. I should have  _known_.”

“Known what?”

His lips drew into a thin line as he gazed at your undoubtedly wan and exhausted face, “They should not have been able to find us. I made sure of that. We have a traitor at CyberLife. At first, I thought that they were simply well organised, but I gave them too much credit. Someone is selling us out, and my mission has been compromised.”

Your lips parted in shock, fear washing over you. “But—but why?”

“Because they are desperate to get their hands on you,” he stated sternly, prying the gun from your frozen grip. “It’s likely they paid off someone at CyberLife to feed them intel.”

You stared at him in disbelief. “I—But I don’t even have the blueprints. I saw them  _once_.”

“That’s an eventuality,” Connor shot back. “They would gladly torture you for information you already know.”

It took a good minute to digest his words before you nodded solemnly, your attention shifting back to his battered body as you tried to calm down your erratic heartbeat. “Your wounds—”

“This is not the time to care about such inconsequential things,” he interrupted coldly, his gaze cutting.

“Well, I  _care_! Is that a crime?”

Something burned in that dark gaze of his; a harshness, a mounting furious storm that was waiting to be unleashed, and  _more_. “Caring should not be your priority right now, (Name).  _Caring_  is not going to give us an advantage over our enemies, and save your life.”

“Can for once—just once—you think about something other than your goddamn mission,” you bit out bitterly, pulling back from him as you forced your features into neutrality. “What good is your mission if you’re not alive to—”

“But I am not  _alive_ ,” he interrupted, swiftly grabbing you by the forearm and dragging you closer. “I do not feel pain, and I do not care if this body gets destroyed. I will simply be uploaded to a different one.”

His fingers squarely grabbed yours, placing your bruised palm over his heart. There was no strong heartbeat, just a minute vibration, like an engine running.

“I am not human (Name). Don’t insult me by thinking of me as such.”

He stood up unsteadily, a shakiness to his body you were not used to seeing—simply did not associate with him—as he moved towards the small window overlooking the outside.

Time stretched slowly while you both waited for some sign of attackers, some sign that they followed you to the safe-house.

Connor worked on fixing his body in that same meticulous manner he did all things. It made your stomach turn watching him removing his biocomponents without so much as pausing. But it was impossible to look away.

There’s always been a magnetism about Connor you couldn’t ignore but simply brushed aside.

Yes, he was handsome. But all androids were designed to be, and you had no illusions about where exactly you stood with him.

You two were as far away from each other as the sun and the moon.

Too often you wondered whether you even shared the same horizon, your goals and mentalities being completely different.

It would never work.

Even if he felt  _something_ —

_It would never work._

And yet—he was lodged in your heart, unable to be ignored, unable to be dealt with.  

A splinter you couldn’t get from under your skin.

Two months of constantly saving your life, changing the way you looked at the world, and he was as unreachable now as he was the day you met him in Kamski’s office.

You knew what you had to do. Connor was at least partially right about one thing. Some emotions were indeed useless and had to be disposed of.

_Wake up, and see him for what he really is._

Standing up, you approached him uncertainty, noticing his apathetic stare. He had cleaned up remarkably well. His tie was still missing and his half unbuttoned shirt was soaked in blue and red, but he appeared fully operational otherwise.

“Do you think we’re safe?”

He met your question with silence before finally removing his gaze from the small window. In the dim light, his face appeared even sharper than usual, shadows dancing over his skin. There was an odd tension in his frame you couldn’t quite read as you stood beside him.

“No, whoever sold them the information may know about this place,” he replied shortly. “But until my systems become functional again it would be unwise for us to leave. We’ll be going to CyberLife Tower the moment I fully regain my functionality.”

You felt your pulse flutter. “CyberLife Tower?”

His gaze turned back to the window, aloofly observing the outside world. “Yes, I need to find out who the traitor is, and it will be easier to protect you there.”

“Protect me…” you repeated slowly, flexing your bruised fingers, “What if CyberLife decides one day they no longer need me? The mission is the only thing that matters to you. Would you—”

You couldn’t look at him, but you suddenly felt the heaviness of his stare on you, “Would I  _what_ (Name)?”

Swallowing thickly, you turned to him, meeting his bottomless dark stare. “Would you kill me? If they gave you the order?”

The tension between you was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. Connor swivelled away from you dismissively, expression stony, but you didn’t miss the slight flare of yellow against his temple.

“Yes.” was his callous answer.

But your heart was beating heavily at his slight hesitation, at the brief second of ambivalent unknown that flared in his eyes.

“I don’t believe you,” you whispered shakily, trying to meet his gaze. “Look me in the eyes when you say it.”

“(Name).”

There was a razor-sharp kind of warning in his voice. It sliced at you, and terrified you all at once because he had never spoken your name in such a manner. Despite that, you still heard a deeper truth in his voice.

Taking a large step to the side, you moved into his line of vision as his cold eyes met yours. Fear clawed at your lungs, making you exhale tremulously. “You  _hesitated_. You feel nothing. You would kill me. You keep saying it, but I don’t believe you. We have  _something_.”

Your back slammed against the timber wall, old wood creaking precariously from the force of the impact as you stumbled slightly. Connor’s arms were tightly holding your forearms, his body brushing against yours. You had never seen him so terrifyingly furious as he glared down at you.

“You are my mission (Name), and nothing more than that,” he snarled lowly. “You forget the fact that I’m a machine. I do not  _feel_  attachment. I will never share this vision of naive sentimentality with you, is that clear?”

“ _Connor_.”

His face twisted and he hissed through his teeth, “ _Stop it_. Stop saying my name like that.”

An ugly laugh left your lips, and you felt the bitter tang of regret bite your heart. “Like what? Like that’s the only name I want to say for the rest of my life? Like I adore your arrogant, asshole face? Like I know you will never—”

He didn’t let you finish. He jerked you to him with such force you practically flew into his arms, his harsh mouth meeting yours.

Connor was a collection of sharp edges dressed in an innocent looking package, but his mouth was the worst weapon of them all.

_Oh._

_**Oh.** _

You wondered, briefly, at the back of your mind, if he was trying to consume you. If his colder, harder lips were simply hoping to devour you whole so there was nothing left. He held you to him in a vice-like grip, lips merciless in their exploration of your mouth.

One of his hands rested against the back of your neck while he explored the curve of your spine with another. You arched into him, in mild disbelief at the thought that these same hands were covered in blood only hours ago, but were now touching you so reverently. A wild shudder rolled through your body at the thought. The simple knowledge that these hands you’ve seen take so many lives, and shatter so many bones, were now anchoring you to the universe.

You pressed yourself closer, hands wrapping around his neck as you tried to match his ravenous appetite. He explored your mouth greedily, tongue searching for something you desperately hoped he would find with you. A burn of pleasure was warming your body from inside out as you kissed his colder mouth harder. Experimentally swiping your tongue across his bottom lip, you nibbled on it briefly, causing Connor to stiffen and jerk back violently.

He stumbled back from you; his indicator a bright, quivering red, then amber before settling on a shuddering shade of familiar blue.

For one roaring moment his eyes looked on fire, two bottomless black holes ready to suck you in and never let you go as he peered at you. Then, like someone simply pressing a button, his expression cleared. Any traces of emotion effortlessly wiped away. His face rearranged itself into a well-known expression of cold disdain, and you felt a heavy weight settle in your stomach.

“Connor?” you murmured breathlessly, your lips still tingling as you ignored the violent rush of blood in your veins.

“ _Don’t_ ,” he practically growled, an icy look in his previously burning eyes, “Get some rest. We leave at first light.”

The doorframe rattled from how hard he slammed the door on his way out.       

 **———**     

It was an imposing building, with even more imposing security.

Being with Connor made the process much simpler, however. Security clearly knew him well and after confirming his identity, it was a simple manner of walking inside. It felt almost surreal to actually be inside one of the most secure buildings in the world.

But not as surreal as your kiss with Connor last night was. Despite his words, you barely got any sleep because your mind simply refused to turn off. You lost count of the number of times you had licked your lips, still feeling his phantom touch and tasting only him.

It made you shiver. It made you hate him too.  

_It would never work._

You had to repeat it inside your head over and over again like a mantra because the alternative made your breath hitch every time.

“We will go to the lower levels and access the Master Terminal first,” Connor announced coolly, leading you down pale white corridors. “I need to search company records for leads. Someone has to be suspicious.”

You shivered at the sound of his voice. He had refused to look your way since last night, speaking bare minimum with you like he couldn’t stand being around you. His coldness made you shrivel inside, but it made you furious too.  _He_  was the one who kissed you. He was the heartless machine and yet—  

“I thought you can check records in realtime?” was your forced attempt at calmness. “Why do you need the Master-Whatever?”

He still didn’t look at you, gaze focused ahead as he strode purposely towards his destination. “Because there are security protocols in place that make sure androids dispatched on missions are not used as tools to leak sensitive information from CyberLife. We do not have full access while we’re out there.”

It made sense. It also reaffirmed how intense CyberLife was about protecting its secrets.

You watched in morbid curiosity as Connor’s artificial skin melted from his hand when he placed it against the scanner. The door opened with a hiss, colder air brushing against your skin, prompting goosebumps to explode across your flesh.

The room was large and spacious, and much darker than anywhere else in the building. There was a quiet hum of computer servers filling the empty air, and you curiously looked around the giant screen and control panel in front.

Connor wasted no time, immediately scanning his palm against the panel, information flooding the screen too quickly for you to read. You took a moment to look at his face. His eyes closed, expression focused, that rebellious strand on his forehead brushing against his skin. You wanted to reach out and touch it. You wanted to kiss him again too.

Five agonising minutes stretched as you unhurriedly strolled a short path back and forth. You heard Connor shift, and your gaze turned to him, observing his hunched shoulders while he leaned his hands against the panel.

“No, there must be  _someone_ ,” he began harshly, “One of them  _has_  to be the informant.”

“Oh Connor,” you said softly, lovingly, “Of course  _not_.”

The first shot hit him in the shoulder, second in the chest, and third somewhere in his left hip. His entire body jolted, his biocomponents rattling as he collapsed to his knees. Lowering your arm, you approached him calmly, pulling out the tiny microchip from inside your top. You slotted it easily into the appropriate space, keenly taking in the information now scrolling across the screen.

“No—it can’t—”

Turning your head over your shoulder, you noted his bloodstained face while he finally looked at you with grim understanding. “Don’t look so surprised Connor. Do you know how  _hard_  it is to play a double agent? CyberLife? They were too easy to fool, but Kamski? Now  _that’s_  a man I needed to convince.”

You hit the ‘Transfer’ button before turning around to face him fully. “ _No one_  knew. Not even the mercenaries who were sent after me. Everyone had to believe that I betrayed the Russians. They all had to come after me with the intention to kill me so my cover was believable. These damn blueprints better be worth it. But then Kamski assigned  _you_ …” you trailed off thoughtfully, kneeling before him.

You could hear the whirl of his biocomponents while he no doubt tried to fix himself. His eyes were wide but so livid that you couldn’t help but to smile lazily at him. “I have to admit… I didn’t account for you, handsome.”

“You…you will not leave this building  _alive_ ,” he stuttered, his voice skipping with a crackle as blue stained his lips.

Laughing warmly, you cupped his cheeks, forcing his face closer to yours, “My lovely Connor, did you really think I didn’t prepare for this? This mission has been in the works for months now. But  _look_  at you. You look  _angry_  Connor. I thought you couldn’t feel anything? Tell me, does it  _hurt_  to be used? It was your mistake to make after all. You looked at me and saw exactly what you  _wanted_  to see. A pathetic, miserable human in need of your protection.  _You_  brought me here. Probably never crossed your superior mind that this damsel is actually the villain of our little tale.”

Icy fury blazed in the darkest corners of his eyes. His body jerked again as if he was trying to move his stiffened biocomponents, force them to obey his will.

Your lips curled softly as you leaned closer to kiss his rapidly cooling cheek, “Oh Connor, you’re the one who taught me that the mission is the only thing that matters. Don’t take this personally. I’ve become so very fond of you, handsome.”  
  
There was an all-consuming sort of fury in his eyes as you brushed your thumb against his bloodied lips. “It’s a shame though. Can you imagine us  _together_? We could have burned this world to ash if only we wished.”  
  
Leaning down you kissed his mouth, ignoring the snarl that distorted his lips. It was a cold kiss, so unlike the one you shared only yesterday, but you enjoyed the shiver that travelled down your spine nevertheless. Opening your eyes, you stared at the bottomless, dark depths of his. You hesitated before you pulled back, and standing up, ignored the stark burn of Thirium on your tongue.   
  
You caressed his cheek gently one last time before pulling out your gun, and placing it against his forehead.   
  
He looked ready to tear you apart with his bare hands. You knew he could. But you also knew he would never actually do it.   
  
“This isn’t over.”  
  
A promise and a damnation.   
  
He will hunt you. Because he can. Because he’s the only one who  _could_.  
  
“I was rather hoping you’d say that. See you soon, Connor.”  
  
You pulled the trigger.

 **———**     

“You’re  _late_.”

A hand yanked you to one side, a bullet hitting the metal where your head just been.

“What are you doing?” his greeting was glacial and you took a moment to look at him. To drink in his features and closeness after weeks of not seeing him.

“Well I was having a perfectly nice afternoon, waiting for  _you_  to show up before  _these_ ,” you explained, taking aim over Connor’s shoulder and firing at the man who appeared around the storage crate. “…not very nice men decided to pick a fight!”

Connor’s eyes slid around the warehouse carefully before he pulled out two guns from under his jacket, “Stay here, I will deal with this,” he ordered, his tone leaving no room for arguments.

Your jaw slackened in shock at his brazen words but before you could snap his head off, a group of mercenaries rushed at you from both sides.

“Take right, left is mine,” you ordered back snippily.

There was something so beautiful about working with someone in perfect harmony.

Even if it was to kill a bunch of people.  

You were like two magnets, pulling and pushing as you reaped the men around you. You filled the empty spaces around each other, blood spilling freely as you shot someone taking aim at Connor. In reply, the android spun you around, arm wrapped around your chest as he shot another two men behind you.

“Interesting way to spend your afternoon,” he remarked casually, emptying the clip and fluently sliding another one in.

Gentle amusement tickled at you, and you leaned your head backwards, your back pressing against his chest as you laughed loudly, “Oh, I’ve missed you, handsome.”

His grip constricted around you, expression unreadable, “You’re coming with me after we finish this,” he warned seriously.

He didn’t look away from you as he shot the last mercenary who had already dropped his gun in fear. It wasn’t a fatal shot and the man slumped to the ground, gripping his bleeding wound. Connor let you go slowly, hands lingering like he thought you might vanish before he approached the mercenary unhurriedly.

Seeing him approach, the man shakily pulled out a pistol from his back pocket, fumbling with the safety. Connor struck his arm with unparalleled speed in reply; brutal and unforgiving, as he slammed the limb backwards. You could almost feel the creak of the mercenary’s bones from where you stood.   

“Let me makes this very simple for you,” Connor began calmly, grabbing the man’s bleeding face and turning it forward. “I will break your arm, and if you still refuse to talk, I will break your other arm as well.”

You suppressed a shiver at his silk like voice, studying how he rolled the mercenary’s arm further, making him whimper. “And if that doesn’t work I will break your legs too. There are 206 bones in the human body, and I will grind every single one of them to  _fucking_  dust if you don’t tell me what I want to know. I would advise you to avoid this path.”

The man whimpered weakly with a nod, and Connor loosened his grip slightly, “Who sent you? Why are you after (Name)?”

“The—the blueprints—we need them… Sir Anton Kuznetsov.”

You knew that name. Some pompous Russian billionaire that recently got into Thirium market.

“Thank you for your cooperation.”

There was no time to flinch from the loud gunshot as the man fell back dead. Connor’s face was inscrutable as he rose to his feet, pocketing his own gun unceremoniously.

“You’ve been busy,” you started, wiping your hands on your jacket carelessly. “I have to say I’ve enjoyed our little chase. I imagine it’s been a bit more frustrating for you. But oh wait—I completely forget that you don’t feel anything human-like  _frustration_. Or do you, Connor?”

His fingers wrapped securely around your neck, pulling you closer, “You should not have betrayed CyberLife. It was a foolish mistake to make. Now I have my orders.”

You raised your head easily, your pulse fluttering at his touch while you peered at his familiar features, “And what exactly are those orders? Not to kill me, clearly, or you would have done so already. Or maybe those  _are_  your orders, but you just can’t do it.”

His fingers twitched and his indicator blinked amber for a brief moment at your words. You pressed closer to him, ignoring his warning look, fingers tracing his tie, “Tell me, Connor, what does go through your software when you see me, when you touch me? What’s the protocol when you look at me? Do you want to kill me? Kiss me? Or do you want something else entirely?”

Your lips were a breath away from his, and you wondered if he realised that he was the one who leaned in, that he was the one who was no longer gripping your neck but simply keeping his fingers against your skin.

“What do you  _want_  Connor?”

Your answer was his lips against yours—hungry and desperate—effectively burning away every thought in your head. He was like a man deprived, and you knew that no one could kiss like that and feel  _nothing_. He shackled you in his unbreakable embrace, your own hands coarse and searching, always reaching for more as your nails scratched against his neck. He made a sound at the back of his throat that sounded so  _human_  you almost laughed.

The next sound he made, however, was a grunt of confusion as his entire body convulsed uncontrollably. He sunk to his knees, eyes wide, and you yanked the needle from his neck, slowing his descent. Red flared against his temple, his arms jerking towards you but you simply pushed them away patiently, folding his fingers against his chest as you lowered him to the floor.

“They told me it has quite the nasty bite,” you murmured tenderly, brushing the loose strand of hair back as he shivered on the floor. “Acts like a virus and attacks your motor functionality program. It will pass with time even if your systems must be going haywire right now. I must thank you, handsome, getting those blueprints opened many doors for me.”

He lurched his arm towards you, rage ablaze in his eyes as you caught it easily, wrapping your fingers around his. “ _Shhh_. Moving will only make it worse. I wasn’t lying earlier you know? I  _have_  missed you Connor. I wish—well, it doesn’t matter anymore I guess. But,” you hushed sweetly, cupping his cheek. “I do think I’m enjoying this more than I should. Vulnerability suits you so beautifully.”

You leaned over him, placing a lingering kiss on his forehead, ignoring his accusatory, dark stare. “I’ll see you soon, Connor.”

Standing up easily, your eyes lingered on his prone body, his own stare burning holes into you. You turned away from him, strolling leisurely through the cluster of dead bodies on the floor, knowing full well it was better if you didn’t look back.

The sound of a gun being cocked made you pause briefly as you came to a halting stop.

Your eyes lowered patiently, your head tipping slightly to one side. You silently waited to see what he would do. You didn’t need to stop—he could comfortably unload the entire clip into you even if you were running through the room in zigzags. But you wanted to give him the perfect target.

A long minute passed without either of you daring to disturb the fragile peace.

Your mind was roaring at you but you didn’t move. When another minute passed, you felt a faint, genuine smile twitch your lips.

You walked out into the bitter cold air, and never looked back once.

_It would never work._

**———**

The hotel room door closed with an audible hiss.

Idly fixing your dress, you didn’t even glance up as you said, “Good, you’re here. Dinner is booked for 8pm sharp.”

His shadowy figure did not shift, low light casting a haunting cast across the slopes of his face. The arm that held a Silencer aimed at you did not shift either.

When he still refused to answer, you shot an irritated look his way, “What’s this? The silent treatment? C’mon, handsome, it’s been a month since I’ve seen you last. Haven’t you missed me?”  

“Did you know,” he began softly, icily, “That  _Thiromdine Dexodile_  you injected me with is a substance that does a lot more than attack motor functionality? For an android, it’s the slowest death one can give. It liquefies our biocomponents, ripping apart our base code to shreds. At best it takes hours. At worst days. Which is what I had.”

Horror tore through you so quickly, you felt sickness curdle your stomach. Your eyes immediately sought out the serial number lit up on his jacket, noting the different digits.

“Connor,” was you strangled reply. “I-I didn’t know.”

He stood fluidly, expression taut as he approached you, gun still trailed on you. “I know. Do you know how?” he questioned unblinkingly.

When you remained silent he took your chin in his hand, and lifted your face to his. “You believe yourself to be my weakness, and perhaps you are, but I am most certainly  _yours_ ,” he concluded shrewdly, words subtly mocking.   

You couldn’t help the strangled, low laugh that escaped you as you leaned closer to him, savouring his touch. “ _Look_  at us. You can’t shake me, and I sure as hell can’t shake you. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.”

“You shouldn’t have betrayed the Russians as well,” he told you frankly, thumb tracing your jaw. “That has drastically decreased your life expectancy.”

Dipping your chin, you felt his thumb brush against your lower lip, causing a shiver run up your spine. Your lips twitched up into a sly grin as you said, “Yes, well, I’ve never been good at dancing to someone else’s tune.”

Your fingers reached for him, but he grabbed your wrist painfully before you could, the barrel of the Silencer pressing against your ribs. His shoulders were set in severe slant, lips firmly drawn as he stared at you intently.

“No Connor,” you breathed earnestly, a profound tiredness in your voice. “No more tricks. I’m tired of them. Tonight is going to end one of two ways. Either you will kill me, or you will let me go for good. I can’t keep doing this anymore.”

“Doing what?”

You gave him a sullen sort of look, “Running from you, tricking you, take your pick. I’m done with desiring for things I can’t have.”

For a moment, you thought you saw that consuming heat in his gaze again but he blinked, and it was gone. “My orders are to bring you in,” he insisted stonily, demeanour unchanged.

A small, disappointed sigh escaped your lips, and reaching forward you carefully guided his arm up, until the gun was resting just above your heart. “Then  _obey_ ,” you replied in dismay, “I’m not stupid. How many times have you failed now Connor? This is your last chance, right? Otherwise, they’ll replace you. Or…Or they’ll wipe your memory of me till you’re nothing more than their obedient tool again.”

Yellow bloomed across his indicator, and you smiled bitterly at him, “You could have shot me that night at the warehouse, but you let me go. Why?”

“My system damage was too extensive—”

“Don’t give me that shit,” you snapped, grabbing one side of his neck, “Picking up a gun is a lot harder than pulling the trigger. You had the perfect shot.”

He wrenched himself away from you, eyes narrowed into slits, “What are you trying to imply (Name)?”

Even though there were only a few steps between you, in the large hotel room, it felt like a chasm had suddenly opened up between you. His eyes were two chips of ice as they dug into your skin.

“You know exactly what I’m saying.  _You chose to let me go_.”

There was a muted buzz of traffic coming from the outside, but otherwise, the room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

“You—you’re a virus,” he said forcefully, practically spitting the words out. “A  _disease_. Why— _why can’t I be rid of you?_  You make me—”

You moved towards him, noting the way his body tensed with every step you took closer. “I make you what Connor?”

He was a special kind of monster, a killer, a  _machine_  but so much more than that too. You could use a spear as a walking stick, you could use a knife as a lockpick, but that didn’t change their nature.

A human could not hope to bottle a hurricane that has taken a human form.

_It would never work._

His grip was not loving when he grasped the back of your head, the glaciers in his eyes finally melting to simmering heat you’ve only glimpsed a few times before. “You make me  _weak_.”

You felt his biting words brush against your mouth, your lips so close you ached to lean closer and kiss him again. He must have read the intention on your face because he pulled back sharply, letting you go as he moved back.

“Go (Name),” was his acerbic command. “And hope that we never meet again.”

Vaguely, you felt yourself nod but you couldn’t move, and you certainly couldn’t look away from him. It was startling to realise just how beautiful he was. How beautiful he had  _always_  been. You adored his sharp edges; and they certainly hadn’t dulled just because he admitted—however obscurely—that he cared for you in his own way.

He was letting you go—placing you above his mission—and you  _couldn’t move_.

“Why aren’t you leaving?”

Blinking, your lips parted to reply, but only a strangled whisper left your mouth, “Because I’m waiting for you to introduce me to the bedroom floor.”

You saw it happen.

You saw the last shred of self-control crumble into nothing before your very eyes.

When he moved towards you, he didn’t walk, he  _prowled_  and you only had time to gasp before his searing cold mouth was on yours.  

The rest faded into a haze of him,

him,

him,

 _him_.

**———**

It was not gentle.

You were both too hungry for each other to be gentle.

No, it had been selfish and raw; teeth and nails and burning friction that could not be satisfied easily.

Being with Connor was like trying to tame a fire with gasoline. Hunger and desire only grew with every kiss and every whimper.

You weren’t sure what to expect. You had never been intimate with an android before. Part of you expected it to be uncomfortable and awkward, but it had been anything  _but_.

The memory of heat in his eyes when you pulled his tie off with a grin came easily. But by far your favourite memory had to be the way his entire body had shuddered while you moaned his name against his ear over and over again. You could still taste him on your lips, feel him filling every empty crevice in your soul.

His fingers were idle; his light touch full of reverence as he traced some invisible roadmap on your bare skin. His expression was impassive but there was content sort of air around him, his indicator a steady blue. Only hours ago it had burned yellow and then red. Fiery sort of colour that brought a smile to your lips. Seeing it go red from sheer pleasure was very enjoyable. And you would be lying if you said that it didn’t make you somewhat smug.  

“You should leave before sunrise,” he spoke, breaking his silence in the most painful way possible. “It will be easier to slip away unnoticed.”

Your mouth felt so dry, it felt like you couldn’t speak at all, “Come with me,” you implored earnestly.

His hand on your skin stopped abruptly and you rose up, leaning on one arm as you stared at him seriously.

“I am loyal (Name),” he retorted lowly. “I belong at CyberLife.”

His hair fell messily across his forehead when he turned, drawing your crestfallen gaze its way. You had taken such pleasure in completely destroying his perfectly combed hair only hours ago; a gorgeous mess of rich brown strands now framing his forehead.

“And what happens when you return empty-handed again? They will kill you Connor.”

“My mission—”

“Screw your mission!” you exploded, leaning closer to him. “Screw CyberLife and the Russians, screw all of them. I just want  _you_. I don’t care about  _them_. Just choose me like I’ve chosen you. Or tell me now, and you will never see me again.”

He tensed, his hand coming to rest on your bare hip, giving it a controlled squeeze, “I would find you if you ran again,” he warned you plainly. “I will always find you (Name).”

You gave him an indulgent smile, and gripped his cheek in your hand, “Did it ever occur to you that the only reason you always found me was because I  _wanted_  you to find me?”

His eyebrows shot up and his answering look was almost amused. “Is that so?”

You wanted to smile but there was a heaviness in your chest you could not ignore. “I’m serious Connor,” you whispered heavily. “Come with me.  _Please_.”

His expression shuttered close, but his dark eyes seemed to shine with possibilities.

“Even if—” he halted, looking away from you. “Even if I could… _disobey_. This would not be forgotten (Name). CyberLife will hunt us both down. We have an endless list of enemies who will be out for our blood.”

There was no hesitation in your voice when you looked at him, “Then let them all come and  _try_.”

You couldn’t tell what was going on in his head while he peered at you calmly, a flicker of different colours flashing through his indicator. His face constricted like he was pained for a brief moment before he blinked.

He rose suddenly, making you lean back but not before he captured your face in his hands. His thumb swiped across you swollen bottom lip while he gazed at you ponderously.

“I’ve come to find,” he murmured hesitantly, “That I’m not done with you yet.”

You felt an awkward, genuine grin stretch across your face, your laugh choked but  _relieved_. “You better not be,” you teased, pulling his body closer to yours as he leaned down for a kiss.   

_Maybe it can work after all._

**———**

“Do you understand your mission?”

The pleasant smell of roses was accompanied by a peaceful trickle of water as two figures moved across the luscious garden. The warm breeze fluttered their clothes as the woman came to a sudden stop, her face pinched.

“I want there to be only two casualties, is that understood?”

Cold, grey eyes observed the picture of his targets critically. They stood side by side, the previous Connor model half covering the second individual in the photograph protectively.

They shared a lovers’ closeness. They also looked deadly and driven.

_How interesting._

“Yes, Amanda.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know the fandom collectively hates Machine/Ruthless!Connor but I love him (those of you who follow me on tumblr KNOW since this story began as a prompt I received on there), besides he definitely presents an interesting challenge when writing. 
> 
> I hope I did him justice since I wrote it this in celebration of Ruthless!Connor fans, and my own birthday which is today/tomorrow (19th). Since English is not my native language (and this is a big boy) I would really appreciate any feedback about grammar etc. 
> 
> I adore you guys. Thank you so much for reading! ❤️❤️❤️


End file.
